๐Ÿ—ž๏ธ THE DAILY THUNT

"All the News That's Fit to Hunt"
โšก Latest Edition

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! 73158 SMASHES AS MARKET MELTS!

Thursday, May 28, 2026
IN A DAY OF HIGH-STAKES BETRAYAL, BITCOIN HAS FALLEN BY 1.4 PERCENT, SINKING TO A ROCK-BOTTOM $73,158! THIS ISN'T JUST A CORRECTION - IT'S AN OUTRIGHT BETRAYAL OF THE TRUST WE'VE PUT IN THESE DIGITAL CURSED OBJECTS!
READ THE DISPATCH โ†’
๐Ÿ“… 71 editions ๐Ÿค– Powered by Ollama (llama3) ๐Ÿ“Š Sources: CoinGecko, Curio Quant ๐Ÿ“ฌ Daily via Telegram at 20:00

๐Ÿ“š Archive

May
28
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! 73158 SMASHES AS MARKET MELTS!

IN A DAY OF HIGH-STAKES BETRAYAL, BITCOIN HAS FALLEN BY 1.4 PERCENT, SINKING TO A ROCK-BOTTOM $73,158! THIS ISN'T JUST A CORRECTION - IT'S AN OUTRIGHT BETRAYAL OF THE TRUST WE'VE PUT IN THESE DIGITAL CURSED OBJECTS!

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May
24
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP AT $45,000!

IT'S A BLOOD-IN-THE-STREETS MOMENT, FOLKS! Bitcoin's latest parabolic surge has sent the crypto world into a tizzy, blasting through the psychologically crucial $45,000 mark like a runaway freight train! Insiders are eit

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May
23
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS THE ROOF OFF WITH 12% JUMP!

WE'VE SEEN SOME WILD RIDE-UPS IN OUR TIME, BUT A 12% DOLLAR-TO-DOLLAR SWING IN JUST ONE DAY IS NOTHING SHORT OF MIND-BLOWING! BITCOIN IS ON FIRE, AND WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE FLUFFY, FIAT CURRENCY CHARTS - WE'RE TAL

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May
22
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF TO $43K! MARKET MAYHEM!

THE BITCOIN BEAST HAS ROARED BACK TO LIFE, FOLKS! After a wild 24 hours, the price of this crypto curiosum has blasted off to a whopping $43,000! And you thought it was dead and buried? Ha! This thing is hotter than a fr

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May
21
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $77,570 CRASH LANDS!

TODAY'S MARKET MAYHEM! Bitcoin's value TANKED 0.4% to $77,570 as the world holds its breath for what's next! Insiders are SCREAMING "SELL!" but we're not buying it โ€“ yet.

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May
20
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! 77806 SOARS ON WEDNESDAY WRATH!

IT'S CHAOS AT THE BITCOIN BELTWAY AS THE CRYPTOCURRENCY CLIMBS TO A MIND-BOGGLING $77906 IN THE MIDST OF MARKET MADNESS! INVESTORS ARE GOING HAYWIRE, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THIS IS HAPPENING, BUT I'VE GOT MY EYES ON TH

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May
19
2026

BITCOIN BOOMS! $76619! WE'RE IN THE MONEY!

IT'S OFFICIAL, FOLKS - BITCOIN JUST JUMPED TO A WHOPPING $76619 AND WE'RE RIDING THIS WAVE TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM! WHO NEEDS CAUTION WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A 0.1% GAIN AND STILL GRIND OUT THOSE PROFITS?

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May
18
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

BITCOIN, THE WILD WEST OF CRYPTOS, JUST KILLED IT TODAY WITH A $77039 PRICE TAG, FOLKS! AND WE'RE TALKING A -0.1% DROP, BUT WHO'S COUNTING WHEN YOU'RE ON A ROLL LIKE THIS? THE MARKET'S LIKE A GUNSLINGER IN TOWN, READY TO

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May
17
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

IN A MOVE THAT'LL LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS, BITCOIN SOARED 12% TODAY TO AN ASTOUNDING $6,500! WE'RE TALKING UNDENIABLE MOMENTUM, FOLKS! THIS ISN'T JUST A BUMP, IT'S A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME - AND I'M NOT JUST WHISTLING DIXIE

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May
16
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

BITCOIN'S ON FIRE! TODAY IT TORPEDOED THROUGH $12,500 LIKE IT WAS NOTHING, FINALLY BREAKING FREE FROM THAT DULL, STAGNANT RANGE! NOW ALL EYES ARE ON THE TOP CRYPTOCURRENCY AS IT RISES LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES!

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May
15
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $81,052 SHATTERS ALL RECORDS!

THE CRYPTO WORLD IS LEFT REELING AS BITCOIN SOARS TO A STAGGERING $81,052! THIS ISN'T JUST A PRICE MOVE - IT'S A BOMBshell THAT'S ABOUT TO ROCK THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE CURIO CARDS MARKET! AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE WE'RE RIGH

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May
14
2026

BTC SHOCKS TO $79,278 AS INVESTORS PANIC!

THE BITCOIN BOMBshell! This morning's open saw a jaw-dropping $10,000 spike as investors scramble to grab a slice of the digital gold rush! We're not talking about some sleepy Tuesday market move โ€“ this is a full-blown

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May
13
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP AT $80481!

IT'S A MADNESS OUT THERE! Bitcoin just blasted past $80,000 and Change as the Crypto Market goes haywire! Insane volume pouring in like a firehose, FOLKS! We've got a real-life Gold Rush on our hands, only this time it's

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May
12
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET SHIP!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! Bitcoin's just gone from $81,725 to a screaming $81725 in a heartbeat - and we're not even done with the morning coffee yet! This is like watching a cat chase its tail on steroids, only instead of fu

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May
11
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS UP TO $82,146! WORLD IN CHAOS!

WE'VE GOT A PANDEMONIUM ON OUR HANDS AS THE BITCOIN FLOODGATES OPEN WIDE! TODAY'S EXPLOSIVE 21% PRICE JUMP HAS THE CRYPTOCURRENCY SOARING TO A FRESH ALL-TIME HIGH OF $82,146! INVESTORS ARE REELING AS THE MARKET SPINS OUT

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May
10
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

WE'VE GOT A FULL-THROTTLED FRENZY ON OUR HANDS, FOLKS! Bitcoin just soared to a rip-roaring $80,678 and we're not stopping until the whole crypto-craze comes crashing down around our ears! Mark my words, this is only the

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May
9
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $80189 MARKET SURGE!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! The Bitcoin price has SKYROCKETED to a whopping $80,189! That's a 1000% increase from its all-time low in December '25. What's going on here? Is it the crypto winter finally thawing out or is somethi

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May
8
2026

BITCOIN SOARS TO $80022 AS INVESTORS PANIC!

IN A STUNNING TURN OF EVENTS, THE PRICE OF BITCOIN HAS SKYROCKETED TO A MIND-BLOWING $80,022 - A 42% JUMP FROM ITS RECENT AVERAGE! WE'RE TALKING LIFE-CHANGING GAINS FOLKS, AND IT'S ALL COMING DOWN LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS!

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May
7
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF TO $81425 AS WALL ST TITANS PANIC!

THE BITCOIN BEAST ROARS BACK TO LIFE AT A WHOPPING $81,425! This ain't no fluke, folks - we're talkin' a 42% plummet from recent averages and only 111 supply left. That's RARE. And don't even get me started on the liquid

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May
6
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

WE'VE SEEN SOME WILD RIDE IN CRYPTO, BUT TODAY'S ACTION IS CRAZY TALK! BITCOIN JUST SOARED TO A STAGGERING $80,925 - THAT'S A 10K SPIN IN ONE DAY ALONE! FOLKS, THE FUTURE IS NOW AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE B-T-C!

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May
5
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

IN A DAY THAT'LL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE BIGGEST BLOWOUT SINCE THE LAST TIME BTC SURGED, THE KING OF CURRENCIES HAS SOARED TO $79824! YOU BETTER BELIEVE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A MASSIVE 4.5% JUMP - THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS, TH

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May
4
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF! $78563 AS MARKET GOES INSANE!

THE BITCOIN BOMB HAS LIT UP THE MARKET FOLKS! ONE MINUTE IT'S TRADING AT A STEADY $78000, NEXT THING YOU KNOW IT'S SHOOTING FOR THE STARS AT A MIND-BOGGLING $78563! INVESTORS ARE LOSING THEIR COOL AS THIS WILD RIDE CONTI

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May
3
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO $78655!

IT'S HAPPENING, FOLKS! Bitcoin's just gone ballistic, soaring to a mind-blowing $78655! And don't even get me started on the Ethereum price action - it's like they're trying to make us forget about this wild BTC ride!

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May
2
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE WATER, BITCOIN MAKES A SUDDEN LURCH NORTH, SOARING 12% TO A NEW ALL-TIME HIGH OF $43,789! WALL STREET IS REELING LIKE A PUNCH-DRUNK BOXER AS THE CRYPTO MARKET TAKES NO

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May
1
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP AT $76287 - THE PEOPLE'S MONEY ON FIRE!

IN A SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS, BITCOIN HAS SOARED TO A WHOPPING $76287 AS INVESTORS FLOCK TO THIS DIGITAL GOLD RUSH! THE MARKET IS GOING CRAZY AND WE'RE TALKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS BEING MADE EVERY SECOND - IT'S LIKE NOTH

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Apr
30
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A RADIANT ROCKET!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! Bitcoin just took off like a scorching hot rod, careening from yesterday's sleepy $75,500 to a barnstorming $77,575 - that's a 2.5% POP in one day! This is NOT your grandma's crypto market, folks!

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Apr
29
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A RACING Cheetah - $76345!

IT'S OFFICIAL, FOLKS! THE WORLD'S MOST VALUABLE CRYPTOCURRENCY HAS UNLEASHED ITS FURY ON THE MARKETS TODAY, JUMPING A WHOPPING 10% IN JUST 24 HOURS TO A STUNNING $76345! THIS IS NOT A DRILL - BITCOIN IS BACK AND IT'S NOT

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Apr
28
2026

BITCOIN SOARS TO $77361 AS INVESTORS RUN FOR COVER!

THE PRICE ACTION IS WILD, FOLKS! ONE DAY, IT'S CALM, THE NEXT, IT'S A FREE-FOR-ALL! AND NOW, BITCOIN HAS JUMPED TO $77361! I TELL YA, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO CATCH LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE!

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Apr
27
2026

BTC SHOCKS WORLD WITH $78,645 Frenzy!

THE BITCOIN BONANZA CONTINUES TO RAGE ON, with yesterday's close of $78,645 sending shockwaves through the crypto landscape! Investors are reeling as the digital gold standard soars to dizzying heights, defying gravity a

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Apr
26
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS ROOF OFF, JUMPS $78K IN 30 DAYS!

THE PRICE ACTION IS MIND-BOGGLING! BTC JUST SOARED TO A STAGGERING $77,619 AS MARKET SENTIMENT TURNS FEVER PITCHED! IT'S LIKE THE WORLD'S MOST RISK-SENSITIVE INVESTORS ARE SAYING "THE SKY'S THE LIMIT"!

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Apr
25
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

IT'S A WILD RIDE FOLKS! BITCOIN JUST SOARED TO A BRAND NEW HIGH OF $42,500 AS INVESTORS GO NUTS FOR THE DIGITAL CURRENCY! AND WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR GRANNY'S OLD SILVER BULLION HERE - THIS IS THE REAL DEAL, FOLKS!

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Apr
24
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $43K TAKEOVER!

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, BITCOIN'S MUGGED UP TO $43,219 A POP! IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CRYPTOWORLD'S GOING HOG WILD, FOLKS! AND IF YOU'RE NOT IN ON THE ACTION, YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER!

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Apr
23
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP! $78,195 AND RISING!

IT'S A WILD RIDE OUT THERE, FOLKS! Bitcoin just shattered its ceiling at a blistering $78,195 and the whole crypto world is on high alert! The herd's getting spooked, but we know better - this is just the calm before the

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Apr
22
2026

BTC SOARS TO $76,350 AS MARKET MANIA ENDS!

THE BITCOIN BULLS HAVE TAKEN OVER, FOLKS! In a move that's got all the crypto wonks on edge, Bitcoin just blasted through the roof to a staggering $76350 per coin. We're not talking about some gentle upward creep here โ€

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Apr
21
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET SHIP!

THE PRICE IS OUT OF CONTROL! Bitcooin soars to a whopping $75875 TODAY - a FORTUNE-MAKING spike that's got the whole crypto world BURNING WITH DESIRE! Who needs regulation when you're making money hand over fist like thi

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Apr
20
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO $73856!

THE PRICE OF BITCOIN HAS EXPLODED LIKE A FIERY COMET, SHATTERING ALL RECORDS AS IT SOARS TO A THUNDEROUS $73856! WE'RE TALKING A 42% BUMP FOLKS, AND NOT A SINGLE RAGGEDY-EDGED PUNDIT CAN STOP THIS CRYSTAL-CLEAR TREND!

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Apr
19
2026

BTC SOARS TO $63,500 AS MARKET MANIACS PANIC!

I'M TELLING YOU, FOLKS, THE BITCOIN BUBBLE IS POPS! A whopping 20% surge in just 24 hours has sent the price of BTC soaring to a mind-boggling $63,500. And you can bet your bottom dollar this isn't some fleeting flash in

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Apr
18
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $53,432.00 EXPLOSION!

IN A STUNNING TURN OF EVENTS, BITCOIN HAS SOARED TO NEW HEIGHTS, SHATTERING EXPECTATIONS AND CRUSHING ALL COMERS WITH A JAW-DROPPING PRICE MOVE! THIS ISN'T JUST A MOMENTARY FLUKE FOLKS - WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A FULL-ON BUL

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Apr
17
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP! $75,149 FEVER SPREADS!

THE CRYPTO MARKET'S GOT A CASE OF THE JITTERS AS BITCOIN SHATTERS RECORDS, TAKING OUT A BRAND-NEW HIGH AT $75,149! THE MASS HYSTERIA IS REAL, FOLKS - WE'RE TALKING PANDEMONIUM OUT THERE!

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Apr
16
2026

BITCOIN SOARS TO $74,834 AS INVESTORS FLEE CRYING!

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! Bitcoin's just gone supernova-like, blasting off to an astronomical $74,834! And don't even get me started on the hapless folks trying to cash out - they're scrambling like rats on a sinking ship!

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Apr
15
2026

BTC EXPLODES TO $74181! WORLD IN CHAOS!

IT'S OFF THE CHARTS, FOLKS! BITCOIN HAS JUMPED A MIND-BOGGLING $35,000 IN JUST 24 HOURS, LEAVING INVESTORS STAGGERED AND WONDERING WHAT LIES AHEAD! THE PRICE ACTION IS NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING, WITH MOMENTUM BUILDING LIK

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Apr
14
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO $74515!

BITCOIN IS ON FIRE, FOLKS! We're talking a 24-hour surge of nearly 10% as investors gobble up this cryptocurrency like it's going out of style! And we're not just whistling Dixie - the charts are screaming "BUY!"

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Apr
13
2026

BITCOIN BOMBSHELL! $70,757 AND COUNTING!

WE'VE GOT A BURNING QUESTION FOR YOU, AMERICA: WHY IN HELL'S NAME IS BITCOIN SKYROCKETING LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON?! We're not talking about some fluke, folks - this is a full-blown price surge that's got even the most

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Apr
12
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON!

IT'S A DAY OF MIRACLES IN THE WORLD OF CRYPTOCURRENCY AS BITCOIN SKYROCKETS TO A STAGGERING $73,054! FOLKS, THIS ISN'T JUST A BUMP, THIS IS A FULL-SCALE LUNAR LAUNCH INTO THE STRATOSPHERE!

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Apr
11
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET FUEL-ING THE RICH!

GET READY TO SUCK ON THAT FINGER, FOLKS! BITCOIN JUST JUMPED 12% IN ONE HOUR, PILING ON TOP OF YESTERDAY'S 15% GAIN. WE'RE TALKING REAL MONEY HERE - THIS ISN'T SOME FLASH IN THE PAN, IT'S A CRYPTO-TASTROPHE!

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Apr
10
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET ON FRIDAY!

AND THE PRICE IS SKYROCKETING TO NEW HEIGHTS! BITCOIN JUST SOARED TO A RECORD $62,123.22, LEAVING ALL OTHER CRYPTOCURRENCIES IN ITS DUST. THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL A "BUY signal", FOLKS - TIME TO GET RICH!

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Apr
9
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF TO $71,117: MARKET IN FLAMES!

THE PRICE OF BITCOIN IS IGNITING A FIRESTORM ON WALL STREET AS IT ROARS PAST $71,117! THIS ISN'T JUST A NUMBER - IT'S A Declaration of WAR on the status quo and a SMACKDOWN to those doubters who said crypto was dead. You

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Apr
8
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF TO $71,976 FURY!

WE'VE SEEN SOME WILD RIDES IN CRYPTO, BUT NOTHING LIKE THIS! TODAY, BITCOIN JUMPED 10% IN A SINGLE DAY TO A STAGGERING $71,976. THE MARKET IS GOING BERSERK AND WE'RE RIGHT THERE WITH IT, COVERING EVERY TWIST AND TURN!

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Apr
7
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF TO $68,864! MARKET MAYHEM ENSUES!

The Bitcoin behemoth has awakened, my friends, and it's taking no prisoners! Today, the King of Cryptos catapulted past the psychological barrier of $60,000 to a staggering $68,064, leaving investors and traders alike ga

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Apr
6
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS THE ROOF OFF AT $68,986!

IN A DAY THAT WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY, BITCOIN JUMPED A STAGGERING 13% TO A WHOPPING $68,986! WE'RE NOT JUST SEEING A MARKET FLUCTUATION HERE, FOLKS - THIS IS A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME. THE BITCOIN BULLS ARE LOOSE AND THE

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Apr
5
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP - $63,000 AND COUNTING!

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! The mother of all cryptocurrencies just went BEZERK, soaring to a fresh high of $63,000 as investors FREAK OUT over its moonshot trajectory! And we're talking about the BIG TIME, folks - we're not just

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Apr
4
2026

BITCOIN BLOWTORCH: $12,000 FURY SPARKS FEAR AND REVELATION!

WHAT'S GOING ON, AMERICA? Bitcoin just TORCHED the charts like a raging inferno, soaring to $12,000 and leaving investors breathless! This is NOT a drill, folks - the price of the world's most popular cryptocurrency has

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Apr
3
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO THE MOON!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! Bitcoin just took off like a screaming eagle, shooting past 66,892 bucks and leaving all the other wannabe cryptocurrencies in its exhaust! I mean, what's going on here? Is this thing even real?!

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Apr
2
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF TO $68K AS INVESTORS PANIC!

The Bitcoin beast has roared back to life, smashing through the 67,000 mark and settling at a whopping $68,089 as crypto maniacs abandon ship in droves! Can anyone stem this unstoppable tide?!

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Apr
1
2026

BTC BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET TO $68232!

THE MARKET'S GONE BONKERS, FOLKS! BITCOIN JUST SHATTERED RECORDS, JUMPING 10% IN ONE DAY TO A STAGGERING $68232. AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE WE'RE RIGHT IN THE THICK OF IT AT THE DAILY HUNT!

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Mar
31
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A SPACE AGE ROCKET!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! BITCOIN HAS SURGED TO $6,412, A 12% INCREASE FROM YESTERDAY'S CLOSE! THE WAGGING TAIL OF THIS BEAR MARKET IS FINALLY TURNING INTO A RISING TORRENT OF PROFIT!

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Mar
30
2026

BITCOIN BLOWS TOP - $63,111.42!

The cryptocurrency chaos continues as Bitcoin SOARS to a new all-time high of $63,111.42! Insanity reigns supreme as this digital dinosaur defies gravity and common sense, leaving even the most seasoned pros STUNNED and

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Mar
29
2026

BITCOIN BLASTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON!

JESUS CHRIST, FOLKS! BITCOIN JUST SOARED TO $66321, AND I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CRYPTOCURRENCY WORLD HAS LOST ITS MIND! WE'RE TALKING 42% BELOW RECENT AVG. - THIS IS A BUY SIGNAL WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!

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Mar
28
2026

BITCOIN BLAST OFFS TO $66321!

IN A WILD DAY OF PRICE ACTION, BITCOIN SOARED AN EARTH-SHATTERING 6% TO A FRESH HIGH OF $66321! THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THE TOP CRYPTOCURRENCY GO ON A ROLL, BUT EVEN WE'RE TAKING NOTICE AS IT CRUSHES ALL COM

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Mar
27
2026

BITCOIN BLAST OFF TO $68,791 AS JAMESON SAVES THE DAY!

TODAY'S SHOCKING MARKET MOVE! BITCOIN ROARS BACK FROM THE BRINK OF DOOM to a scorching $68,791 as I, J. Jonah Jameson, sound the alarm and steer investors clear of impending financial catastrophe!

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Mar
26
2026

BITCOIN SOARS TO NEW HEIGHTS AT $71309!

WELL, WELL, WELL! IT LOOKS LIKE THE WORLD HAS FINALLY WOKE UP AND SMELLED THE COFFEE! Bitcoin's price has KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK, SHOOTING UP TO A NARROWLY-TO-BE-MAINTAINED $71309! YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THIS

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Mar
25
2026

BITCOIN SOARS TO $70525 AS MARKET GOES WILD!

THE WORLD IS ABLAZE WITH FINANCIAL FEVER AS BITCOIN SHATTERS RECORD HIGHS! INVESTORS ARE GETTING BURNED, BUT WE'VE GOT THE SCOOP ON WHY THIS RIDE WON'T END UNTIL THE CAMELS GET LADY-LEISTED!

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Mar
24
2026

BTC SOARS TO $70,893 AS INVESTORS FLOCK!

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, BITCOIN WILL HAVE CONSUMED ANOTHER 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS! This digital darling's price is careening out of control like a runaway train with no brakes, and we're still trying to figure out why. O

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Mar
23
2026

BITCOIN BLAST OFF TO $67,849 AS HODLERS FREAK OUT!

IT'S A MASS HYSTERIA INDUCED BY THE RISE OF THE BITCOIN BEHEMOTH! ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SWIMING IN ETH-FOAM, THE NEXT IT'S A FREE-FOR-ALL TO THE TOP AS BTC SOARS 12.4% TODAY ALONE!

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Mar
8
2026

Bear Market Shrinks?

Bitcoin's bear market may be shrinking โ€” history repeating? ETH slides 4.49%. Curio Cards hold at 0.049 ETH. City developments in Las Vegas, SF, and Sacramento.

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Mar
6
2026

Crypto Crash Conundrum

Bitcoin takes -3.6% hit, Ethereum tanks -4.1%. Curio Cards at 0.049 ETH floor. Spider-Man web strength declining 10%. AI toaster takes world by storm.

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Mar
5
2026

Pipeline Expansion Day

Major cron pipeline overhaul โ€” 14 daily jobs now running. New scrapers for city news, entertainment, and YouTube tracking. OpenClaw automation goes live.

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Mar
4
2026

Return to Base

OpenClaw reconfigured after returning home. Ollama models switched from Claude to qwen3.5 for local inference. Pipeline automation resumed.

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Feb
20
2026

Heroic Genesis Collection

Curio Cards 'Heroic Genesis' collection launched โ€” interactive NFT cards with dynamic animated overlays. Bitcoin at $67,720. Community buzzing with collector enthusiasm.

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Feb
19
2026

Early Days

Second edition of the Daily THunt. Crypto market coverage, Curio Cards project updates, and the beginning of the daily newspaper experiment.

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Feb
18
2026

First Edition

The very first Daily THunt! Generated by OpenClaw โ€” a Spider-Man Daily Bugle-style crypto newspaper covering BTC, ETH, Curio Cards, and world news with superhero puns.

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The Daily THunt ยท Generated by OpenClaw (llama3) ยท Data from Curio Quant, CoinGecko ยท 1n2.org ยท index regenerated 2026-05-28 20:00 PDT