Oh, Wolfowitz resigns a sneaky lying war monger. I mean, the World Bank. World News coverage disappears with forgeries only. In the UK Gordon Brown succeeds Tony wire is plausible front for capitalism. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm scarred for life. Here are tonight's top stories. Paul Wolfowitz has resigned from his post as head of the World Bank after controversy surrounding his girlfriend's promotion and pay rise. The board of the World Bank didn't release this statement. Shoot. We're so glad we found a reason to get rid of that evil fucker. The Bush White House foisted him on us in an attempt to get more money for the reconstruction of Iraq. Now maybe we can get rid of the other Republican neocon fascist right wing assholes that he installed. Yeah, his girlfriend's promotion. That was the least of our problems. We lost half of the bank's highest level executives since Wolfowitz took office in 2005. Christian Portman vice president for the Middle East left after being pressured to speed up lending in Iraq. Wolfowitz his replacement appointees are all warmongering Republican cronies, including counselor to President Bush robbing Cleveland who helped secure congressional funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Thank fuck Wolfowitz was shagging his secretary or billions in aid money intended for the world's poorest countries would have been used to prop up the farce in Iraq, and we wouldn't have been able to do a thing about it. Why our speaker Paul Wolfowitz released this imaginary written statement concerning his resignation. I am a corrupt fascist war monger architected the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan crony of the bush Cheney junta and poodle of the crazy mumbo jumbo religious nutters running the non existent state of Israel. That was never my intention to help ease suffering in the world's poorest nations. I couldn't give a fuck about them. My overriding priority at the World Bank was to siphon off as much money as possible to bribe people I mean, help prop up Iraq and Afghanistan. Anybody who thought a person with my record of support for military right wing fascists and the world's rich elite, wouldn't be the best person for this job must be a fucking loser. No offense, who, in an unrelated story, much of the world's news has been missing for the last two weeks. media efforts to find it so far failed and police in the small time of prayer to lose where the news was last seen are still searching for clues and questioning suspects since its disappearance. Journalists from TV, radio and newspapers have filled their publications with nothing, nothing to report nothing to see nothing happening. Nothing to be said or done. Editors for the world's greatest news organizations haven't said. We think there's a lot going on in the world. You know, war, famine, corruption, the biggest mass extinction since the dinosaurs 64 million years ago, the creation of a new world order a tyrannical capitalist using religion as a front for conflict and fear as a tool to manipulate the brainwashed peasantry. We just can't find it. It's as though the news has vanished into thin air. We hope the news is safe somewhere and we have posted a reward of millions of dollars for it safe return, viewers of the US have been comforted by friends and family. They made this statement to the press a few hours ago. This is a very difficult time for us. Without the news. Our lives are empty and uninformed. It's now two weeks since we've had any news at all. But until we have evidence to the contrary, we believe the news is alive and well and we will continue to buy newspapers and watch the telly reading and watching nothing new or informative about the 1000s of dead and dying African children the rape and torture of Darfur, the genocide in Palestine the billions of humans living under slavery in China the destruction of our own planet to make rich Buckers richer. More on that story leader in the UK Gordon Brown has succeeded Tony liar as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Although power will not change hands for six weeks to allow Tony time to wait the hardest tread the bank statements and bury the dead bodies in the garden. Gordon Brown has been touring the UK spreading his message of continuity and trust in a non existent speech at a recent party meeting he said I will continue in new Labour's policy of complicity with business making sure that large corporations make as much money as possible from the people of this lot. All I will continue the tradition of symbolic rule by the fascist royal family. I will continue to allow unelected lords to sit at your house a government whose only qualification is that mother shagged her father, you can trust me to invent more ways of taxing you powerless landless peasant flux, so that government can squander your money on illegal wars, nuclear power and our military industrial machine in general. You can trust me to serve the interests of the evil fascist arresto banker cracks rule the world with an iron fist, just like Tony days, without pausing quite often When, when reading the ship of the quarter, yes, continuity and trust. That's what the breakfast people can expect from me continuing to fuck you over for a buck and trusting you're too stupid or complacent to do anything about it. Tony Blair made his last official visit to America this week, Bush and Blair gave a final love in us conference at the Bush House. George Bush was asked why do you think Prime Minister Blair has had to step down to which he didn't reply? Well, I guess the people of Britain found all that shit about war harder to swallow than the Americans did. The people of Britain couldn't quite forced down the large amounts of steaming bullshit Tony was spewing up about weapons of mass distraction and terrorist terrorism. Maybe he should put some jelly on it. There was an awful lot of shit to swallow. Patriotism or religious belief would have helped. That's how we managed in here in America. Tony Blair wasn't asked how it felt to be the love slave give of a truly educated fascist, Nazi Nazi who'd lied about weapons of mass distraction and got him and his country involved in a war for oil. His inaudible answer sounded a bit like I can take it all Do me again. George right here on the lawn. Oh, yes, you're sexy Texan stuck up to me again with your cowboy hat on Oh, right. We with your spurs. Thanks. And now the weather. winds of change in the world bank but stagnant news coverage settled over the world's media in Palestine hails of bullets and bombs continue to destroy lives and prevent rational government. Have a nice weekend.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai