Unknown Speaker  00:00
Gold for China and America and new Olympic events of hypocrisy and murder silver for Georgia and President second up in election rigging and us as looking pentathol on bronze for Gordon Brown turning himself with our assholes. I mean heroes in Afghanistan. Hello innocent bystanders. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm room temperature. Here are tonight's headlines. America and China came joint first in the new Olympic event of hypocrisy and murder, beating off Israel, the UK and Saudi Arabia for the top honor after a tough competition, which so many non combatants killed, seriously injured, tortured or just shipped off to Guantanamo for a little waterboarding. Here's President Bush making his victory speech just a little while ago. I'm proud to be standing here repressing mean representing my country, America has long been an advocate of hypocrisy and murder. Even when we created our country in 1776. We were talking about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness while our economy thrived on slavery. Those were the days right? Course. Now we have to pay the slaves, but it's pretty much the same thing without the whipping and raping your daughters. As I look around the stadium festooned with the logos of evil money grabbing complicit American corporations, who have come to this land of absolute tyranny, to make as much money as they can, as I look at them, I am filled with pride and large kickbacks from my corporate paymasters that we the country that spout so much rubbish about freedom, they've come here to take part in the most outrageous piece of fascist appeasement since the Nazi Olympics of 1936. So it's a great honor that I accept his gold medal on behalf of all Americans too stupid or blind to see the obvious hypocrisy of these games who live Thank you, God bless America and fuck your country, which is no doubt a stinking backwater shit. Oh, compared to ours. See? Hi. Oh, yeah, I mean, give me the money. President Bush they're talking shite as usual. The Chinese President Mr. Huge in power, or was equally vociferous in his celebration of the kill Olympics. Now I mean, the Olympics. Here he is speaking to the nation, you are all very happy at China's success in selling shit. Nobody needs to moron so don't need it. So as homes can be rich I as you are all in awe of China's vast army of economic slaves who work for a handful of rights and still go home to praise the motherland. You are all inferior to the supreme nation of China whose strength and majesty you will one day worship and bow down to in the very near future. Yes, you will have all very short memories and we'll forget that we are the people who slaughtered 1000s of democracy protesters and imprisoned 1000s More than one day in the future when it is too late. You will say Ah, China turned out to be run by mother in Nazi scumbag, ultra nationalist capitalist fuckers, whose idea of a good time was digging up the planet and selling it to overfed Westerners too stupid to realize the true value of life on Earth. But by then it will be too late. And we will own Woolworths and McDonald's wrong rave economic slavery and faceless corporate tyranny. I mean, no no practice right Long live slavery and other stuff. Goodbye. Now back to work. Georgian President Mikhail Nicolosi, the SEC officially won the silver medal in the western US looking and election rigging pentathlon. After a close fight with Armenia. Russia was beaten into the bronze medal position after refusing to lick America's missile defenses. I'm sorry, like America's missile defenses. Although they did score big on election fraud with Putin's creation of the Prime Minister runs the country now I can't be president scab. Anyhow. Georgian presidential election was held in February 2008. Exit polls reported Saturday believes victory but Georgia opposition's criticize the exit polls, as did outside observers declaring they were biased and fraudulent. In favor of the former president. According to the Georgia and Central Electoral Commission, however, Sacher really was leading all the way with no need for a second round run off. Major protests occurred in the capital after the election results were announced and the opposition continues to declare the election was riddled with massive fraud. The OSC ease criticism of the GA and elections had no impact on the government and the irregularities and mass fraud have still not been investigated. Of course, now everybody's more worried about being killed in a fake or setting war of distraction. Ordered by Dick Cheney. To take everybody's mind off the Gulf, where the biggest naval Armada since the Second World War is massive to implement sanctions against Iran. Rumor has it the bombing of Iran will coincide with the closing ceremony of the Olympics. So while everybody's watching fake pre recorded fireworks on the idiot box, real explosions will be going off somewhere in Iran that'll teach them not to have their own sovereign nation. How dare they not do what we tell them? Kill the fuckers. That's what I say what's right, and they got to do what they want. Who do they think they are? Right fake Fox News, sound bites, slobber slobber in the UK? Well, not really. In Afghanistan. Actually, Gordon Brown has been visiting our brave boys and girls on route to the Olympics in Beijing. The prime minister told troops at Camp bastard I mean, back then. They were assholes. I mean, all the heroes of our country are going on not to say more heroin is now leaving Afghanistan than ever before. largely thanks to your efforts. Haha. Before we invaded, the Taliban had nearly wiped out, but now the smack is flowing like a river right into our cities. Well, Donna, this visit comes as three NATO troops and 10 French soldiers died and Taliban attacks. Mr. Brown said our deaths have been a tragedy. But the events of all it made us even more resolute to defeat the Afghani people. I mean, the forces of terrorism not adding Euro cannon fodder for the American oil pipeline being built here anyway, so line up and die like good boys and girls. I only wish I didn't have to come here and listen to the whinging of the wounded you fuckers. You're all signed up to die for the queen. So shut the fuck up and die for ha What did you think killing people from the lies of American corporation was going to be like some kind of fucking Joy right? Come on. Mr. Bryan also likened the achievements of the British forces to the UK is Olympic medalists in Beijing not saying they too are helping prop up and legitimize a regime that people didn't choose. That exists only to help global corporations fuck the population over for a buck. Who Ross Yes, all of the athletes and all of our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. You really are the assholes of our country. I mean, heroes, or do I? I don't know. Thanks. acmella weather, endless streams of empty nauseating platitudes and political bullshit spewing out of the mouths of lying corrupt money Gibbs spraying over your face, dribbling down your chin and soaking into your shirt at a nice weekend.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai