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Global War on Terrorism eradicate incorrect thinking says our glorious leadership. Iraq gets a new flag and Afghanistan gets more foreign invaders i mean liberators Britney Spears parents fear for her money. Sanity as a pop star goes crazy in the UK Police demand more power, less paperwork and no scrutiny. Hello legions of dispossessed Welcome to the fucking news. I'm deceptively simple. Here are tonight's headlines. The global fight against terrorism continues in the glorious Happy New World Order. Love the New World Order. Numerous counter revolutionary plots have been stopped leaders arrested or assassinated and networks disrupted blacked out CIA does violent cult still has many followers and recruits for new attacks. This is the seven years since the filthy cowardly CIA attack of 911. But now thanks to the patriotic revolutionary armies of nationalist firepower, fighting back they have suffered major setbacks all over the world. In Iraq. A relatively small number of hardcore CIA and surge agents have hoped to destabilize the state distracting the population from the theft of their oil and use our patient on their sovereignty and self rule. But due to revolutionary hero General David Petraeus is surging troop numbers and the arming of local citizens militias by the glorious people's limited company Halliburton. Their plans have been watered who they remain capable, however, of inflicting high profile attacks and are unlikely to abandon their cause in a hurry. But happy consumers of Iraq were blessed today with a new flag, as they have the least salute the emblem of their slavery. Another area of the planet becomes designated part of our glorious consumer revolution with with province for all and materialism for our children. The future of Iraq is assured in Pakistan, our CIA does leadership has spent the last year consolidating its influence over the puppet government of Musharraf. And in tribal territories next to the Afghan border. It is cementing its ties to the tele bush and setting up new training camps to teach bomb making kidnap assassination and the justification of murder and genocide in the name of democracy and freedom. In Afghanistan, more troops from the United Kingdom and other members of the United Nations are needed said the dead and dying inhabitants. Many villagers are demanding more people be involved in killing them. One tribal leader said many of our women and children are Dishonored, being killed by only one pilot dropping a bomb on it would have if soldiers have the glorious patriotic revolutionary consumer army could come here in greater numbers, perhaps killing them personally face to face, there would be more honor in being shot or bayoneted to death by the young people of America and Britain. If this was so, in Somalia, the defeat of the Islamist militia a year ago has not bought stability. And there are signs our CIA God may be tempted to boost its presence in Africa by fixing elections to ensure more puppet governments friendly to its global war on terrorism, say in Kenya, Nigeria, Sudan just off the top of my head on the media front. Both our CIA data and the tally Bush have been prolific in broadcasting their message over the internet, and are likely to continue this part of their campaign against the patriotic revolutionary democracies of the West and its allies. Our CIA does media arm known as alpha Fox News has increased its annual output of lies and propaganda to record levels. So citizens of the Happy New World Order be assured our glorious capitalist revolution will resist the evil of our CIA, ADA, the townie bush and Alger Fox News. When we have crushed these dissidents counter revolutionaries are happy New World Order will spread to every corner of the earth, and our patriotic profits will rise along with our standards of living until every citizen has a life of material bounty and consumer delight with low interest rates and easy credits for all Long live the revolution. More on that story later. In America the crazed parents of pop princess Britney Spears, I'm sorry. In America, the parents of crazed pop princess Britney Spears have voiced concerns for the sanity of her money. Recently, her father was given control over her financial matters and has not made this imaginary statements to the press. We are very worried for Brittany's money, health and well being but we feel no responsibility for her mental state at all. Even though we pinched her hairless virgin little pussy for years, robbing her childhood and propelling her into a world of narcissism and exploitation so we could enjoy the benefits of her prostitution to MTV. Her money. I mean well being is very important to us. We will do everything we can to keep her locked up, I mean, receiving the best care money to buy while it lasts. We are also concerned for the mental well being of our daughters finances, it may be that keeping the money locked up in a bank could be very damaging. And we're looking at ways of getting it back into circulation as soon as possible should our daughter managed to escape that I mean, get well, she may not be worth anything, I mean, recover her career, in which case, we will require to be kept in the manner to which we've become accustomed as selfish, exploitative, and unashamed people. In the UK, the Bank of England has followed the Federal Reserve of America and lowered interest rates. In an imaginary statement to the press. They said, We're just a franchise of the Fed debt with us. It's just like debt with them. And we urge happy consumers in the glorious capitalist revolution to get into debt and ensure the survival of vampire like institutions such as ourselves, who feed on the future of our dances, and the consumption of the planet for profitable purposes. Along with the revolution, debt is good profit is our destiny. In a totally related story, Labour and the conservatives are both calling for the greater use of stop and search powers by the police to curb freedom and civil liberties. At the moment, any police officer has the power to stop and search someone if they have grounds to believe they are concealing something prohibited in law. That could be a weapon, drugs, anything really rocket fly sweets, money, words, believe has great meaning in this context, as it has to be backed up by some tangible evidence. If only we could get rid of that word why we could stop anyone, anytime search them, question them, take them around the bag for a kicking without having to keep any records. Wouldn't that be great? long lived consumers in a happy New World Order of material goods and easy credit for all now the weather. The planet loves our glorious future of consumption as the sun starts shining benevolently on our debts all as well as terrorism will be defeated. You will have a nice weekend.


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