Unknown Speaker  00:02
many world leaders not stopped by ineffective shoe tossing protesters. World Economy no longer are rampant jism squirting stallion in its cry in the UK personal tragedies filled tasteless rapes shooting murder stat news alone, landless peasant Fox, welcome to the Fox News. I'm size nine. Here are the headlines tonight. What students have been raised in the aftermath of the failed shoe attack on President Bush in a press conference in Baghdad. Questions about America's continued occupation of Iraq about presidential security questions about the attacker and his motives. And for many people the burning question How the fuck did he miss? To be fair to President Bush he showed himself to be agile and quick to react, dodging the first shoe with ease the second one perhaps just taking a deflection off his radar. But where were his bodyguards were with a super loyal, Uber efficient Men in Black suppose to take a shoe for the President. Perhaps he'll be getting the Bucha for slipping up. Some might say he should have been quicker and we're lucky those shoes weren't bones. Yes, we're lucky. In an interview after the event, Bush showed himself calm, composed and utterly detached from reality when he said, I don't know what the guy's problem is. Maybe he wanted to get on TV. It could be that or it could be your country slaughter of hundreds of 1000s of Iraqi civilians, your illegal invasion and occupation. Oh, maybe the 10 years America spent bombing Iraq back to the Stone Age before claiming falsely it was an imminent threat to national security and destroying what little was left. We'll never know. 1000s of protesters have taken to the streets of Iraq calling for the release of Iraqi television journalist wooden Tada How's Ed Bush supporters have pointed out that under Saddam's regime, the man's actions would undoubtedly have led to his beating torture and death. Whereas under the new regime bought back by American invasion, he's only been beaten, tortured and locked up. You think these people would be thankful in the light of Bush's slick dodge we put other world leaders to the test throwing shoes at each of them to compare their reactions. Gordon Brown handicapped by only having one I didn't see it coming and took it square in the face. Sarkozy pistas usual also to kick right in the face but didn't feel a thing. At the Russian press conference, the shoe was intercepted by their top secret missile defense shield. Suddenly the explosion killed everyone present and destroyed the Kremlin. And in Israel Mossad knew we were going to throw the shoe in advance, but they allowed the attack to go ahead then use it as justification to kill 1000 cows and lock the rest of them up for providing the ladder. Those Israelis clever a in a totally unrelated story. Consumers and economic slaves around the world are beginning to feel the effects of global economic slowdown. Sales slump, production declines and prices stagnates. Many people are complaining the economy just can't get it up anymore. An imaginary landless peasant didn't say, I remember

Unknown Speaker  03:11
when the economy could fuck me and every other peasant in the country all day long and still have energy left to play with itself. Well, not anymore. Now the global economy needs stimulation and lingerie before getting it on last night it asked me if I'd been to some role play. I had to pretend I was in an African country with huge natural resources and the barely educated workforce that works for peanuts with no protection, no labor rights, then I had to suck its credit terms and let it shake me in my mineral rights. Oh, it used to be so romantic. The economy would come round with a bottle of IMF and we get tipsy and laugh at communism. But now it's beginning what it wants for 50 years. It's just not interested.

Unknown Speaker  03:56
Financial Analysts have released a statement on the global economy's behalf saying honest This has never happened before Well, once back in the 20s, but I was drunk and it was a long time ago. Let's hope that a package of stimulating cash injections coupled with robbing peasants of their pensions, investments and gold teeth will help reinvigorate the economy. Some people predicting the next year will be getting fucked just as hard as ever, and it'll be like nothing ever happened. More on that story later. In the UK, US is dominated by a procession of personal tragedies shoved down our throats by a media obsessed with violence, fear and personal crime baby pee battered to death pictures in case you lack imagination. Rachel McHale stabbed in front of her child 49 times in a frenzied attack in case you need to know exactly how reached Jones gunned down by gun Lang team shot through the neck and bleeding slowly to death in case your life lacked horror, precedent or acted for more rape, murder killing brutal bloody tragic family grief loss same title or baby lovely pool of blood reaction fear horror police death take us inside highly charged verdicts wife profile DNA forensic investigation pain, joy war reaction pleading guilty murder killer wrongly accused blunder or manslaughter a special program Watch Later deranged innocent victim just a reminder see all of this and other horrible crimes on Multi Channel TV Nice. Perhaps there's nothing else to report maybe on a planet of 6.8 billion people the most newsworthy deaths are the uncommon ones. After all, just simply starving to death is a bit boring, isn't it? being blown up by a bomb along with lots of other brown people? Not terribly interesting. Simply beaten to death by your drunken spouse not good enough. What we really like to hear about are deranged psycho killers who kill you and eat your children after stabbing you in the eyeball with a screwdriver. raping your dog and shutting down your severed neck now that's entertainment. I mean news flags and now the weather. Heavy shooters I mean showers all footwear limited to world leaders press conferences, global economic slowdown leading to temporary loss of sexual appetite for peasant fuckers. We have just a chance of gruesome murder stories paraded on the news for your entertainment. Have a nice weekend.


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