Hello. Welcome to this festive edition of fucking news. at this special time of year, as we all pause to reflect on the past and look forward to the future, with hope and optimism, I would like to send my own message of peace, love and forgiveness to the world. A message of acceptance of the imperfect world reconciliation with those who wronged us a message of celebration, and yes, love, love all humanity. Yes, I would like to send that message. But shit ain't like that. It's real fucked up. Evil fake religion promotes annual spiritual mindfuck to ignorant masses. mindless zombie shopper hordes destroy our world and enslaved millions. In the UK oldest monarch ever presides over a nation of landless peasant fucks Hello economic slaves. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm warm to the touch. Here are tonight's headlines, hypocrisy, superstition, ignorance and blind acceptance of fake history and lies about the past the present and nature of the universe. That's Christianity. A congregation able to live with war murder, torture, slavery, death and genocide mindless unthinking dolts deluding themselves up the validity and superiority of their made up mumbo jumbo voodoo nonces led by conniving, buying corrupt, deceitful, manipulative, super rich fascists, complicit in the murder of millions the suppression of knowledge, the covering up of child abuse, the rape of the planet, economic enslavement and the tyranny of the unelected Happy Fucking Christmas. Except it's not Christmas at all. You see, Roman Emperor Constantine decreed around 365 AD, the celebration of Jesus's birthday was to be moved from January the sixth epiphany day to December the 25th Mariel rigetti, a renowned Catholic liturgy is the rights of the church of Rome to facilitate the acceptance of the faith by the masses find it convenient to institute the 25th of December as the Feast of the temporal birth of Christ, to divert them from the existing piece celebrated on the same day in honor of the solstice Solstice is derived from two Latin words so meaning sun and sis there to cause the standstill. The seasons of the year are caused by the 23.5 degree tilt of the Earth's axis. Because the Earth is rotating like a chalkboard gyroscope. It points in a fixed direction continuously towards a point in space near the North Star box. The earth is also revolving around the sun. During half of the year the southern hemisphere is more exposed to the Sun than the northern hemisphere. During the rest of the year. The reverse is true. At noon time in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun appears high in the sky during summertime and low in the sky during winter. The lowest elevation occurs about December the 22nd and this winter solstice in prehistoric times, winter was a very difficult time for Aboriginal people in the northern latitudes, the concept of birth and or death, rebirth became associated with the winter solstice. The Aboriginal people had no elaborate instruments to detect the solstice, but they were able to notice a slight elevation of the sun's path within a few days after the solstice by December the 25th. So celebrations were oftentimes for the 25th. Any record of the birth of or existence of Jesus Christ is dubious. But by the beginning of the fourth century CE II, the Western Church leaders selected December the 25th. To coincide with the salt this, there was no central Christian authority at the time, and it was centuries before the tradition was universally accepted. So happy Solstice, fuck Christ for the fake Roman lie he is in a totally related story against the backdrop of credit crunch, financial uncertainty and economic gloom. Hordes of shoppers are still flocking to the high streets and malls of the world to destroy the Earth and keep the unelected tyranny of China propped up with oodles of Western cash. Lower some retailers have reported lower than average footfall and spending in the run up to ship miss many expect the weekend before Christmas to be very profitable. We spoke to a non existent retailer of plastic rubbish from China who had this to say about the destruction of Earth. Last year was a bumper year for us sales of electronics and personal items helped to deforest the Amazon pollute the atmosphere and ensure the continuation of economic slavery all over the world. Remember, we make half of our profits from the entire year at Christmas, so please, borrow some money and buy some more Simple shit. indulgent overconsumption at the expense of others in some faraway land whose poverty ensures your prosperity. Remember, we deserve to be rich and they deserve to be poor because we control the Earth's resources. In the UK Queen Nazi fascist Elizabeth the Second overtakes Queen Victoria to become the oldest British monarch ever. Buckingham Palace says the day will be business as usual for the queen as the richest woman in the world reigning in a country with 4 million children living in poverty. There will be no special event to mark the occasion. But as a special treat to landless peasants. Here is a short preview of the Queen's speech do to go out on Christmas Day.

I am the queen and you are my subjects. It's been a great year for being queen. I'm especially grateful to you spineless peasants, who haven't objected to my symbolic rule over you. Special thanks to Rupert Murdoch for doing such a great job of that call me fucker Gordon Brown. He's the only socialist to threaten the House of Lords or the monarchy for a generation, but he won't last long since you've all been persuaded he's an inept as all. Instead, one of my lovely loyal Tory asticus David Cameron will soon be in power and by symbolic rule will be assured. Thank you once again for being poorly educated and badly organized landless peasants. I hope my family and the aristocracy in general can continue to own your sad little lives and rule you without much trouble at all. For another 1000 years at least.

Queen fascist Nazi Elizabeth the Second was born on the 21st of April 1926. She will celebrate 60 years on the throne in 2012, and break Queen Victoria's record as the longest reigning British monarch on the ninth of September 2015. During her reign, the Queen's achievements have included being the first British monarch to send an email to have a message put on the moon and to hold a public concert in her back garden. The eradication of poverty disestablishment of elitist drool by military oppression and the dispelling of religious mumbo jumbo are just some of the things the queen will not be doing, even if she lives to be 200 God save the Queen and her sweet sticky reproductive juices produced by glands in her abdomen that send chemical signals to the vast hive of her followers, controlling them and maintaining order in the glorious fatherland. I'm in Kingdom, Your Majesty Fink slobber, slobber, slobber, slobber, slobber, slobber. Thanks. And now the weather, confusion, nationalism, ignorance, superstition and irrational acts of violence will continue. Humans will never become a critical mass of educated beings and evil manipulative fucks will rule forever. Have a nice weekend.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai