Welcome to the fucking news. I'm over the moon. Here are tonight's headlines. Evil Nazi Fox have taken over America and they're gonna kill us all slavering psychopaths in charge of the world's biggest nuclear arsenal are dying to push the button. Using God nationalism and apple pie the American people's intellect was no match for the Nazis, simple toddler psychology, Google Google, if you want to the country. Now the most rapidly violent debt ridden militaristic nation of slaves on earth, not fit to do anything but wage war and rant about how great they are. A revealed plans to allow Iran's nuclear program to spark a global nuclear war. Why Yeah, global nuclear war she's making trillions of dollars paying off the national debt and wiping out two thirds of humanity. This would lead the fascist Nazi fuckers of America who rock and the fascist Nazi fucker is of Great Britain to rule the world in a new world order. God bless the Center for magisters procedures. Yes, sir. And the fiendishly cunning son of Star Wars missile defense system that will protect us and Great Britain while the rest of you fuckers burn and die. God save the Queen. God save the Queen Rand give her give us slobber, slobber slobber. In the UK Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced the withdrawal of 1600 troops from Iraq, which he didn't say is a pointless war Britain should never have gotten involved in in the first place, a war made possible by the allies of 911 A war that's destabilizing the area and fomenting global terror terror which can be used to strip people of their freedoms and liberties and paved the way for one world government and the enslavement of humanity. Enjoy. The troops being removed from Iraq will be sent to Afghanistan where a completely different war is taking place. One which is nothing like the war in Iraq at all. These are not the wars you're looking for. Well, maybe just a little bit, but not very much. In a related story, Prince Harry who's not a bastard son of princess to timing shag machine Diana, wife of the bisexual inbred Prince Charles son of the maxi Queen of the landless peasants of Britain will be sent to fight in Afghanistan as part of the escalation of the war. I mean reconstruction. Prince Harry is following a long tradition of members of the royal family traveling to far flung parts of the globe and killing people. And also not being a bastard son of someone in the army who was poking your mother. A spokesman for the royal family didn't say we hope that it will Buster gets killed before he grows up to look like his dad and everybody knows for sure that here's a list of Boston anyway but one less bit of that peace loving trollop, his mother for us to eradicate from the collective mind. The last thing we need are global do gooders like that slugs talking about peace and freedom. And now here's a lovely blonde girl who knows fuck all about sport, but looks great reading in order to with the sport. Catch it abroad. Oh, good. Oh, good boy. Who's a clever little boy day.

Would you like me to set up my soil? Yes. Yes. You wouldn't play with the ball.

In business news the planets own your thoughts get used to it. And now the weather. Storms of controversy. Clouds of government lies outbreaks of war. Showers of bastards and lengthy spells of insanity before nuclear winter sets in and humanity's numbers fall below the successful breathing capacity. Have a nice weekend.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai