Unknown Speaker  00:00
Poverty adjustment for slaves with fake economic oil crisis sexy nightmare crime tragedies fill your mind with us last fucking news studio swamped by rain and leaking like a sieve. Hallo lab rats. Welcome to the fucking news I'm 3% growth. Here are tonight's headlines. A small group of wealthy banking families that drool over sold without any trouble at all. They've recently begun a program of poverty correction on the global economy. This is to ensure the correct level of poverty in the world in order to maintain their grip on your goals and their place as shadow a puppet masters of art. increases in the cost of oil and food will be used to adjust the reality of billions of people are making them poor, fearful, nationalistic and ready to kill some other fucker whose fault they will shortly be told it is also eager to accept absolutely any solution no matter how wacky fucked up or playing evil. It is. A spokesperson for our shadowy puppet masters made this imaginary statement on national TV earlier today. You've all had it too good for too long. Did you really think you could go on being wealthy, wealthy brown people starved? Actually, that's not the problem. The problem is you're too comfortable. You're too well off to manipulate effectively. So we need you to be broke, hungry, desperate and odd your knees begging for someone to blame for your fall from opulence while 70% of the world were still eating insects and hadn't used the phone. You were living in Disneyland on the back of their suffering. So welcome back to the real world where you are irrelevant. Disposable economic cattle slaves in our fake global economy designed by us to keep you busy while we rake the planet kill its people plants at any other life simply to make us even more powerful and wealthy. Oh yeah, I assure you there is no greater purpose to the exploitation of you or the earth than this single goal is more for us and less for you Power for us slavery for you well for us poverty for you Now fuck off back to your humble and wait for your orders obey authority go to the shops prop up the makeshift each shift economy and do not question the way it is. Long live printing money we lend to you at interest. Viva la oil price scab down with critical thinking market forces rule Amen. Many people have reacted angrily to the bankers Socrates announcement and oil price rates, but let it fuel price protests and whinging pensioners bleated their political self interest. Lump white mothers appeared complaining of the cost of chocolate biscuits and air travel to their favorite ski resort. The brain damaged, poorly educated, unemployed, stood outside empty, relocated factories moving we want jobs. We want to be dependent on the state. We want to be breastfed our lives we want move. We want someone to look after us like our mom used to move. Meanwhile, powerless national governments and unjust measures to make it look like they could do something about any of this shit. More on that story later, sexy horror Crime Story murder, gruesome body headline with voyeurism and irrelevant individual tragedy. That's the kind of news we like. There may be 6.5 billion people on earth and 20,000 Sand peasants die every day from diarrhea and malnutrition curable with 50 cents. But what's more important, the grisly details of one individual death, or the vast number of brown people dying every day? I think we all know the answer to that. If we disposed of the emotional hypnotism and presented the cold, hard truth, you wouldn't watch because facts are boring. Knowledge is for nerds and being clever is for pussies right just to press home. The fact here are some boring facts, the birth rate on planet Earth is 20 per 1000. The death rate is eight per 1000. That means the population of Earth increases each day by 12 per 1120 per 10,000 1200 per 100,000 12,000 per million 12 million per billion or approximately 18 million a year still here. bloody crime scene mystery headless body rape, murder shooting, stabbing drug user living alone drive by downtown police, Chase, speeding motorist violent crime, kidnap carjacking, and corporate corruption and tyranny. That Oh, sorry, those last ones are from another show. So just to recap, then someone gets murdered. It's a top news story and it'll be shoved down your throat at every opportunity until you're so scared you'll let the police kill your children at birth if their eyebrows are too close together. Large numbers of dead people are however too ghastly for your delicate sensibilities. So we just won't report them. You can go back to sleep and I in the UK, shoddy construction and heavy rain have caused the catastrophe at the studios of fucking us, with water pouring through the roof leading to a partial collapse of the ceiling and damage to electrical equipment. The problem with the roof had been known about for some time, and construction was underway of an extension to the studio and rebuilding of the studio roof, also known as my shed. You can see from these pictures the extent of the damage and the need to quickly replace the roof before the Scottish rainy season, also known as summer gets underway. We spoke to deep Jackson earlier today and asked him what the problem was and what he's going to do to fix

Unknown Speaker  05:39
it. Well, I didn't use enough timber in the roof. First time around. The angle of the roof wasn't steep enough water collected on the roof worked its way through the felt came through so plasterboard roof fell in. It'll take a bit of time, but I'll fix it myself eventually. Although I am asking for donations from our viewers on the website, fkn news with a zed.com. There's a Pay Pal widget there. I'll be very grateful for any donations from anyone who enjoys watching news

Unknown Speaker  06:12
back Steve. Good luck with that. And now the weather. Heavy rain pouring through my poorly constructed roof. I have a nice weekend.


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