Unknown Speaker  00:04
America celebrates the first black nationalist mumbo jumbo voodoo believing consumerism supporting corporate funded banker shield in its history Oscar nominations for the war on terror, credit crunch and other Hollywood productions in the UK more debt for your children to say banks that sell your children debt. Hello star spangled spanners Welcome to the fucking news. I'm highly unlikely. Here are our headlines tonight, Barack Obama has been sworn in as president of a group of humans living in an area of the planet Earth designated as the United States of America by internationally agreed to treaty in an historic event described by no one as an irrelevant puppet show for the benefit of poorly educated consumers and dead cattle. Obama made the following imaginary speech my fellow consumers I stand here today to sell you the task before us. Funded by the businesses you owe money to mindful of the sacrifices our voodoo mumbo jumbo requires. I thank President Bush for his disservice to our nation, as well as many others. All Americans will now be taken for a ride as they have so often before. At these moments, America has carried on because we the people have ignored the evidence of our own eyes and forgotten common sense and critical thinking. Today, I say to you that the challenges we face are made up. They are fictitious, and they are many. They will be met by your debt and servitude. Not in a short span of time. But no this America, there will be debt. On this day, we gather to paraphrase the speech from Independence Day. On this day, we give power to one of the two people big business let us choose from on this day. We go back home to watch TV and let our lives be run by the few people on earth with any real wealth, power or influence. This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most polluting, powerful fascist nation on Earth. Our workers make lots of shit people don't need our own people go into debt to get shit they don't need with money they don't have our capacity remains undiminished. But our time will surely pass if we don't keep doing shit. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again, the work of refacing America. In the face of our common dangers, let us brave once more the icy currents and endure what storms may come let it be set by our children's children that when we were taxed, we paid when we were lied to. We believed it. And when we were sacrificed for our rules wins, we died. And so with eyes fixed on the hocus pocus and God's Googly Moogly upon us, we carry forth that great gift of dumb and deliver it safely to future generations. Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America the peace of the planet where you pay taxes, rent fake slobber, slobber on a personal note, I would just like to add my congratulations to Barack Obama, a man who just won the biggest game show on earth. The price was right 1.5 billion for the election costs. Now he can come on down and collect his prizes, the Marines the Navy, the army, the White House, the holidays, the cars well done. baraque you will be the first black man to lie to your people to kill foreigners crop up Israel promote the destruction of Earth for the growth of your economy and to wrap it all up in God and nationalism. Congratulations, then a related story. In Hollywood. The Oscar nominations for this year's awards have just been announced the blockbusting War on Terror picked up a record 14 nominations including two for Dick Cheney as Best Director and Best Actor george bush gets nominated as Best Supporting Actor and Best Animated Short. Fox News nominated for Best script Mossad CIA productions for best special effects and there's Best Soundtrack nomination for the number one song now I'm not listening, and the list goes on. Also picking up numerous nominations is the credit crunch or economic downturn, a mold breaking fantasy science fiction movie starring you the public as the victim, and one of the biggest swindles since paper was issued as currency credit crunch nominations include Best Screenplay by Bernanke of the Federal Reserve and best check writing Adapted Screenplay by the government. Also in the running is Mumbai India's 911 With nomination for Best Documentary Feature best foreign language will best made up and best film edited, but a winner will be announced at the annual Oscar ceremony held this year at Disneyland's fairy tale castle and hosted by Tinkerbell more on that story later, in the UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling has announced further measures to prop up banks that have lost lots of money. The British people now own up to 70% of some banks. However, the FSA and other financial bigwigs have pointed out that the bailout is not nationalization blacks and insurance deal which allows the same inept fuckers who lost all that money we had to bail them out with to continue running their banks without having to worry about losing any more money. You see, the capacity for Sangli managed banks and markets to support the generation of wealth in the economy could never be matched by the public sector. British banks are best managed and owned commercially says the Financial Times. I'm confused didn't though suddenly managed banks just lose bucket loads of money on dodgy debt investments, and then the billions of taxpayers money because they were crap at making a profit. Let's hope the past inadequate management of risk during the last few years isn't a guide to the future since we're now insuring these inept money changing middlemen whackers bankers with the death lives of our children and children's children. It's a shame there isn't another economic model that would serve the people of Earth. No, this is the only way we simply must allow our future lives to be sold into taxation. So grossly rich one curse I mean, bankers can play roulette with the Earth's resources are well back to the salt mines that I mean call centers. Thanks. And now the weather. The planets fucked. It's your fault, and it's getting worse. Have a nice weekend.


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