Hi, welcome to the fucking news. I'm disease free. Here are tonight's headlines. A group of renowned international scientists meeting in Paris this week announced that global warming is a fact and humans are responsible. Who would have thought 300 years of industrial revolution? Millions of smoking chimneys the burning of billions and billions of tons of coal and oil would warm the planet? I don't quite understand that burning things warms things up. We need 150 scientists to tell us that we really are fucking stupid. What's even more stupid is we're not likely to stop really, the United Nations called the announcement, a truly catastrophic and tragic turn of events for humanity. a wake up call for the human race. President Bush said we have good evidence that Iran is involved in the global warming firing. We have intelligence operatives of the Iranian Secret Service are working in the global warming theater. Yeah, and the excuse to nucleaus Fuckers in Iran, Mr. Bush, any excuse at all? Wait a minute. Are these the same scientists who told us in the 70s we were going to have an ice age? Yeah, I remember them big hairy people with beard saying, Oh, well, according to the data, it looks like the Earth is about to be plunged into an extended period of cold weather. Who can you believe? Who can you trust? Who's got the evidence? What is the evidence? Where does the evidence come from? Who fucking knows? But I can tell you this. Currently on planet Earth 50 species a day of other animals are going extinct as a result of human activities deforestation, air pollution and overfishing. Anything which kills a fucking human being is good news for them. There are Beagle sitting outside car sales rooms going God by the big engine. Get that massive fucking SUV. That's right. Pour more even petrol and fumes into the atmosphere. Yeah, destroy the fucking planet. I'm a fucking beetle. I could live in the desert after a nuclear winter. Fuck you human fuckers, driving you fuckers. Anything. Anything that kills human beings is a good thing. Six and a half billion fucking human beings on the planet, killing 50 unique species of life form every single day. Now the universe took a long time to make this life. There are six and a half billion humans. It wouldn't be any threat to the species if a couple of billion of us disappeared you know? It's no biggie. That's all I'm saying. You know, in the grand scale of things, who fucking cares? What are we doing? That's so important anyway, making people rich by digging up the fucking planet. Fuck it. I say Burn baby fucking burn. Bring it on. Yeah, there are species of insect we haven't even discovered in the Amazon yet going. Please, please Mother Nature killed some fucking human beings. In the UK this week, Tony Blair announced to the policymaking forum of the Labour Party. I will not be forced out of office by the cashflow, honors questions. What questions are loads? of you've been giving people lordships for millions of times and donations to your political party? Of course he fucking has. Is there anybody out there anyone at all? Who believes the Labour Party haven't been giving people things for money? She if I gave 2 million pounds to the Labour Party, I'm fucking sure I'd want something back. According to the latest figures, the Labour Party received 20 million pounds in loans. You can imagine how much they're going to be giving away to Mr. Sainsbury. Now there's a good socialist name. Why would he be donating millions of pounds to the Labour Party like any other rich person, he will grease the palm of any fucking monkey who can help him on his way. In the speech given to the Labour Party policy forum, Tony Blair says it's the Labour Party's ship will not be blown off course by the storms of controversy. Who the fuck does he think he is Captain Ahab? Ah. The Arecibo goes to his wife a white whale of international terrorism. We must all tax our population heavily in order to spear that whale. i Come on. I don't care who we are. Follow your dreams. Captain fucking Ahab Blair, a corrupt MOTHER FUCKA. Apparently it's official. The planet really is fucked. It really is your fault and it really is getting worse. Watch out for this being used as an excuse for increased taxation. Yeah, I have a nice weekend.


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