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irrelevant election delusion gets underway in corporate States of America. Violent post election scuffle continues in Kenyan corruption franchise in the UK vomiting sweets nation as billions are lost in NHS scabs. Hello, peasant cambers. Welcome to the fucking years, I've been disappointed. Here are tonight's headlines in the area of the planet designated as America by internationally agreed treaties, presidential hopefuls are digesting the outcome of the first contest in the 2008 election race. It was celebrations for Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama, who won the Republican democratic nominations respectively, as Iowa voters made their selection but what were the key factors in the results? Here's a special report from our political correspondent. I like lying fuckers at the White House. Hello deeply. It's a special time of year in America softened up by irrational belief in Jesus and Santa Claus the good people of America prepare to enter into the biggest delusion of their lives. Democratic elections. Yes, it's the beginning of a process which will lead to someone becoming the most powerful person on earth, but President of the corporate state of America. By the time we get to the primaries, hopeful candidates have been selected on the basis of their belief in supernatural voodoo beings, haircuts, sexual history, support for killing people overseas and most importantly, money Yes, to succeed in this pointless piece of cultural meat believe each candidate will have to sell their immortal non existent soul to the black satanic heart, also non existent our business. Once in office, it seems unlikely these cocksucking give horrors of capitalism will say or do anything to stop your slavery and the exploitation of the planet. Sorry, I like lying fuckers. Are you saying we don't live in a democracy that we don't have a choice and that elections are just a sham, a show designed to give us the illusion of selection. But in fact, all of our leaders are working for the same evil corporation that rules over the earth without much trouble at all, in effect deeply. Yes, the business runs America and funds politicians, unelected heads of giant corporations and wealthy banking families choose your leaders for you by choosing who to give money to and manipulating the media. That's why the non existent Ron Paul isn't even in the news today because the banker stock cracy doesn't want him to be so if you call democracy ending up with a choice between two wealthy lying scumbags in the pockets of big business in the international banking conspiracy, then it is thanks I like lying fuckers the fucking news will be following the irrelevant theater of election 2008 We expect all the candidates to be saying something like we're encouraged by this or that minor detail along the way since they are after all lying, deceitful scumbags skilled in the art of bullshit and discombobulation. In a totally related story. Violence has erupted in Kenya after the results of their presidential election were disputed by the opposition. Situated on the equator on Africa's east coast. Kenya has been described as the cradle of humanity, perhaps now serving as a microcosm for the world since Kenya is riven by factional conflict tribal division and ruled by a corrupt clique of the Kikuyu try us is just coming in that up to 100,000 Kenyans have fled their homes and may now starve to death without international aid. Helicopters full to the brim with journalists and reporters are rushing to the scene to bring us the latest pictures of their suffering and contribute to our media's contempt for life in general. We wish we could show you the pictures of government troops and supporters hacking civilians to death in a bloody rampage to boost our ratings and feed your sick voyeuristic appetite. So we will during his last term in office, President Mwai Kibaki clamped down on independent press using the army to restrict reporting and free media. But who gives a fuck about another a third world country run by despots, lining their own pockets and signing over their country's mineral resources to giant international corporations? my electricity bill just went up and the more oil we can screw out of these banana republics to prop up our own cancerous economy, the better more on that story. Later, in the UK, millions of patients of the National Health Service have been vomiting uncontrollably, spewing up their guts chucking up their dinners and generally puking after being affected by the vomiting bug, not a virus, corruption mismanagement and the waste of billions of pounds on computer systems and consultants that don't work are it is claimed responsible for the closure of wards, reduction in services and even the closure of entire hospitals. It's This sickening waste and obvious running down of universal health care that has spawned the NATA virus. A spokesperson for the drug pushing private medical companies and extortionate medical insurance didn't give us this exclusive interview earlier today. This is quite simply great news for us and the quicker we can ruin the health service by wasting the taxpayers money and mismanaging its resources, the quicker people will be forced to use our lucrative private services. If the waste of 12 billion on one computer system doesn't make you sick to your stomach. Wait till you get the bill from the pharmaceutical companies for all the overpriced drugs they've invented to keep patients alive without curing the disease. We're never going to cure cancer you're stupid fuckers that would be like killing the golden goose. No, we want you to be sick just a little bit all the time. No fuck off back to work and take this prescription medicine designed to help you cope with your miserable life of servitude and taxation. In a related story The UK is biggest energy supplier and power raised electricity prices by 12.7% and gas bills by 17.2%. Today, blaming higher wholesale costs and power are owned by giant utility company are W E who posted operating profits in the first quarter of 2007 of 2.8 billion euros. A spokesperson for our W E did not make the following inflammatory statement. You stupid sheep like fuckers. As long as you continue to be dependent on us. We will milk you like the cash cow you are. We strongly urge you not to look into providing your own energy. Do not reduce your consumption. Ignore that information on the internet about providing for yourself or reducing your dependency. We love screwing you for money. Please don't get smart and bring our lovely gravy train to a halt. long lives central distribution, death to self sufficiency and energy conservation. Fink slobber slobber. Thanks and now for the weather. Fog of War rain of tyrants shower of bastards. Hey Will bullets. Have a nice weekend?


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